Humor is just another defense against the universe

“Humor is just another defense against the universe” – Mel Brooks

If that be the case, then Ringhilwen and her cohort Oddwen, the two Administrators of CoE’s Humor section, are without question two of its most formidable Shield Maidens. Each wielding a wicked wit along with a good banana. And really great hair.

Though they may have taken different paths to Tolkien’s magical world, it ultimately led them to CoE’s doorstep, for which we, here, are forever grateful for, and a bit frightened about as well. No really. I mean not really… Ah well, you all know what I mean… the fact is that since May of 2003, the Humor Forum has grown like the list of Leggy’s fangirls. Large and over-the-top. From a few articles pertaining to ‘Elrond’s Lost and Found’, to LotR Parodies, a weekly Captions Contest, Humorous Fanfiction, Cartoons, Celeborn’s Karaoke Bar and so much more, due to their diligent work and sharp eye for the funny.

So take a moment while you peruse and wander around CoE to drop in on the Humor Forum and indulge yourself, your funny bone will thank you. Or perhaps spark an inspiration to submit something of your own! Ringhilwen and Oddwen are waiting…just bring your own banana, ok?

Now a word or twenty from Ilandir…

by Naurlas
Quote from www.amusingquotes.com

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Tea in the Void

As the Ruling Ring of Power is destroyed, Sauron is sucked into the Void, where he meets with his Master, Morgoth…

(Getting up from the ground)

Sauron: Wow, that was fast. It’s a bit dark here.

(A voice is heard)

Voice: Who’s there?
Sauron: I’m Sauron the Dark Lord!

(As the figure of the voice approaches, it reveals that it’s Morgoth)

Morgoth: Sauron, is that possibly you?!
Sauron: Master?! Yes, it’s me, your dearest of all Servants!

(They run across each other and give a friendship hug)

Morgoth: What are you doing here? Didn’t I leave Middle-earth yours to rule?
Sauron: Well, yes, Master… but actually, I’ve been defeated and put here.
Morgoth: Oh, that’s sad news….**sighs**…well, that’s life, isn’t it?
Sauron: Yes, I suppose it is.
Morgoth: Tea?
Sauron: Oh yes, please.

(Morgoth motions Sauron to a nearby table, where he takes a seat)
(Morgoth is preparing the kettle)

Morgoth: So how has it been in the past two Ages?
Sauron: Well, not bad. I just managed to corrupt the Númenóreans, taken some regions in Middle-earth and waged war against Elves and Men…nothing special though.
Morgoth: At least you had a bit of fun.
Morgoth: Sugar?
Sauron: No, no, thank you.

(Morgoth puts two cups of tea on the table. Sauron takes the cup and starts drinking)

Sauron: Ah. I haven’t had any tea like this for years.
Morgoth: Yeah, it’s good, isn’t it?
Sauron: So what have you been doing here all alone?
Morgoth: Well, at first, it was a shock staying here without company, but you get used to it when time passes.

(Morgoth pulls out a chair and sits down)

Morgoth: Hey, did you know that there are people obsessed enough to actually write parodies of that silly Middle-earth?
Sauron: *highly amazed* Nooooooo!
Morgoth: Yes! Truly! It shocked me to my disembodied core when I found out!
Sauron: But… who would do such a thing? What is its purpose?
Morgoth: Well, apparently there are these people who want to know a lot about Middle-earth and its Tales.
Sauron: Hmmm….Sounds interesting.
Morgoth: Yes, it does! I guess the purpose is to rediscover texts from the Four Ages of Middle-earth.
Morgoth: And it seems we are named too!
Sauron: Wow! Really? That means we are stars! Have we got any fans then?
Morgoth: I don’t know. But sure there must be some.
Sauron: Do you think we can participate?
Morgoth: Yes, of course!
Sauron: Great! But how do you put your writings in?
Morgoth: If I’m correct, these people have to go onto this website called ‘Council of Elrond’.
Sauron: (eagerly) Yes, yes, and then?
Morgoth: Then, they have to go to the ‘Humor Section’ and to ‘Submissions’. There they are told whom to contact if they want to add their writings. And when you submit a funny article you’ll earn user points for it!
Sauron: Great! And what is this for?
Morgoth: The points are so that they can be added helping your Realm in being at the top of the list!
Sauron: Cool! We just have to do the same!
Morgoth: Yes, of course!
Sauron: Have you got a computer here? And internet?
Morgoth: It’s right over there. It’s got the latest GHz speed, high RAM and very fast internet connection!
Sauron: Great! Let’s get to work then!

THE END

by Ilandir; thanks to Ninjoo and Naurlas

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Paths of the Parodies

(Aragorn slowly approaches, and the figure stands up and removes the hood, revealing Elrond.)

Aragorn: (Bows, surprised.) My Lord Elrond. What are you doing here?!?!

Elrond: I come on behalf of one whom I love. Arwen is dying. She will not long survive the evil that now spreads from Mordor. The light of the Evenstar is failing, so you might as well throw it in the bin. As Sauron’s power grows, her strength wanes; and I don’t know why that is. Arwen’s life is now tied to the fate of the Ring. The Shadow is upon us, Aragorn.The end has come.

Aragorn: It will not be our end, but his.

Elrond: Hahaha! Good joke Aragorn! **coughs**…you ride to war, but not to victory. Sauron’s armies march on Minas Tirith, this you know by the message on the cell phone I sent to you earlier. But, in secret he sends another force which will attack from the river.

Aragorn: Oh no not another peril?!

Elrond: Yes… a fleet of Corsair ships sails from the south. They’ll be in the city in two days. You’re outnumbered. You need more Men.

Aragorn: There are none.

Elrond: Of course there are!…**long pause**…well I guess you’re right. I can’t think of any right now… oh yes! There are those who dwell in the mountain.

(Aragorn ponders this and sees a vision of the King of the Dead.)

Aragorn: Murderers… traitors! You would call upon them to fight? They believe in nothing! They answer to no one!

Elrond: They will answer to the King of Gondor!

(Elrond sweeps aside his cloak and pulls out the reforged sword. He presents it to Aragorn.)

Elrond: Andúril, Flame of the West, forged from the Shards of Narsil.

Aragorn: Oh yes! Sure, I’m the king! I forgot that for a moment.

Aragorn: Sauron will not have forgotten the Sword of Elendil, I hope! The blade that was broken shall return to Minas Tirith.

Elrond: The man who can wield the power of this sword can summon to him an army more deadly than any that walks this earth. Put aside the Ranger, for pity’s sake!! Become who you were born to be. Take the Dimholt road.

Aragorn: Okay, okay, I will. But you will have to repay this debt, alright?

Elrond: Yes, yes, I will.

Aragorn: And with what?

Elrond: Well….I don’t know….hmmm….let me think….well… I can write a parody if you want!!

Aragorn: Wow cool! Yes please do it! But **ehim**….what’s a parody?

Elrond: A parody is a tale that has been modified in a humorous way.

Aragorn: Sounds great! And how do you show them publicly then?

Elrond: Well you go onto a website that, believe it or not, has my name in it!! It’s called the ‘Council of Elrond’. According to the books here at Rivendell, they say that then you have to go onto the ‘Humor Section’ and onto ‘Submissions’. There you can contact people who will read your parody and show it to everybody!

Aragorn: Very good! Then off to work you go! And I hope it will be a good one when I return.

Elrond: **scribbling his thoughts on a piece of paper**..don’t worry I’ll do by best!

(Aragorn walks out of Théoden’s camp and prepares to leave)

by Ilandir; thanks to Ninjoo and Naurlas