Everything you wanted to know about Rivendell, but were afraid to ask

Elrond’s obsession with dresses, of course. Everybody always brings their best dresses to wear when they’re in company of the Lord of Imladris, but for some reason those always disappear. Some sweet little elf comes to wish you goodnight and then suggests very friendly and politely to wash that beautiful dress you wore during dinner. Strangely enough, she never brings it back to you. Did you never think it was odd that Elrond was wearing the same dress as you had once made for your best friend?



And obviously you never get to hear about how desperately Elrond tries to find another boyfriend for Arwen. Preferably an elf who will follow her to Valinor, but since you can’t have it all, someone unreliable is fine too. You’d better not drink too much of that tasty water, ’cause it definitely contains some love potion which will make you and Arwen fall completely in love with each other. But since you’re such an unreliable person, you’ll cheat on her and she’ll run back to her daddy as fast as possible. Married is fine too, you can first let her forget about Aragorn and then when she’ll find out that you’re already taken, she’ll leave you anyway. But please don’t come complaining that because of Elrond’s love potion both your marriage and your relationship with Arwen are over, ’cause now I’ve warned you and Elrond won’t care anyway.



Arwen is very, very, VERY fond of lap dogs! Name a type of cute fluffy dog and she’s got it. So y’all who are allergic to animal hair, stay out!



You have to pay for your room! Well, of course you have to! Where else do you think Elrond gets the money to buy his purple dresses from? And if you think all the lembas and the miruvor is free too, think again…



They won’t tell you why they have those beautiful designs that they know you will surely ask about. In Rivendell, you don’t see too many elves lurking outside, they’re just barely outside walking around the halls of Rivendell and you’ll notice the great designs of the place. As you know, elves are really elite people. They’re just inside their houses making some designs for their houses and some halls because, there’s a secret, a competition of who is the winner for the month if they’ve been chosen as the most beautiful house by Elrond, they’ll win a grand dress that Elrond may have gotten from the visitors or he bought it. The visitors thought they’re just natural, you know, the designs, but the elves have been redesigning them over and over again for new styles to claim for new dresses that they’re addicted to. That’s why the visitors have to pay money for living there, they’re wasting it on designs and dresses. Whenever they win, that’s the time they’ll lurk outside their houses and let the losers envy to death when they see the dress that has been won.



You have to wash the dishes! And that takes a loooong time, trust me! Every evening, Elrond chooses one visitor who has to do everything alone, and as there are hundreds of elves in Rivendell, it usually takes the victim about four days. Why do you think the Fellowship were so eager to leave the Last Homely House?



You have to sweep the floor in the Halls of Rivendell when you visit, as another form of payment (required). We all know that in Rivendell, there are so many trees that the leaves keep falling in the outdoor, halls and veranda. Ever wondered why do leaves lessen before a visitor leaves? Yes, as this beautiful place is a five-star class, you will have to pay more than money and dresses, you also have to sweep the floors for the other visitors to see the sight perfect and tidy! That’s why before the Fellowship left the place, you could see the Halls, outdoors and verandas leafless!



You have to pay for parking your horse into their place. Of course, when visiting and staying for a while in Rivendell, you have a horse with you to get all your things without you holding the world! As you enter, the ones who have one in the secret design competition that you don’t know will greet you happily and then lead you to your temporary room. As you go into the place where your horse is, you cannot claim it till you pay for the horse too. And it’s the reason why Sam didn’t let Bill the Pony go back to Rivendell!



You have to show all your wardrobes to Elrond! Before you enter, you’ll notice Elrond is not around to greet you. But as the selected merry elves welcome you and lead you to your temporary room, they won’t let you arrange your clothes from your bag before you bring it to Elrond and let him see it! As Elrond criticizes the clothes, you don’t know that he is checking to see if there is something special about the clothes so that he can take it! That’s why when Frodo told Sam that he’s packing, actually he was not, because it hadn’t been moved at all till Elrond requested if he could check it. That’s why Sam needed to redo his arrangements in their bags!



You are required to buy souvenirs that are worth a million! Elrond wants his visitors to leave with a great souvenir made from the hands of the elves for a great memory they had during their stay! (If they have great memories to remember!) The souvenir is made by the greatest craftsman of the elves and has a design of a boat like the ones they have going to Valinor. It is worth millions and if you don’t buy, you’ll have to stay there and work for it!

by Celedë_Anthaas, Ilfa, Divinity, ~Mirilien~Undómiel~