From the day I joined the Realm of Yavanna, I had heard mysterious legends about a secret stash of chocolate hidden somewhere in the realm. As the members of the realm of Yavanna are famous for their love – some might call it an obsession – with chocolate, no one ever doubted this rumour. Chocolate permeated all aspects of Yavannildi life. The Realm of Yavanna seemed to be the best place on CoE to keep this chocolate. An anonymous tipster reports, “it’s Rivka’s chocolate, that she’s been hiding in our Realm!!”
Another source, speaking on condition of anonymity, explained, “”Well, the stash was founded in 2003, along with the Realms, by a secret of which we have not been able to determine the name, as it IS a secret society. Of course, there has been some debate about whether the society actually exists at all. In my opinion, the original members had to be…” and was dragged off by armed guards amid her explanation.
I was intrigued, and relentlessly searched for this elusive chocolate, said to be of the finest quality to be found anywhere on Middle-earth. Neither I nor any of my fellow realmers seemed to know where this mysterious chocolate was. I assumed it was in the possession of Yavanna’s realm staff, so when I was offered the chance to be a realm leader, I jumped at it. However, I soon discovered that the chocolate was not to be gained so easily. Fortunately, another tip soon came my way: a rumour about a chocolate cave.
What is a chocolate cave? I don’t know, and I never did; nonetheless, I spent weeks investigating anything that looked remotely like a cave, but I didn’t find it. I soon concluded that there was no secret chocolate stash anywhere in the realm.
When I became Yavanna’s realm head, I assumed that the mysteries of the Secret Chocolate Stash would be revealed to me. However, I found no chocolate. I continued to search, and even talked to an admin who shall remain unnamed, but was told she could not help me.
In reaction to this, Realm Leader Timpenin commented, “Pay no attention to her!! She’s hiding it fro! –” and was also promptly dragged off by armed guards. The plot thickened.
I soon began to hear whispers among the realmers along the lines of “Heehee, she still thinks it doesn’t exist!” I realized that the secret chocolate stash – and hence, the true power behind the realm – was hidden among the Yavannildi, not the realm’s leaders. However, few believe this, and there seem to be three camps of chocolate-stash theorists: Achocolatists, those who believe there is no secret chocolate; Polichocolatists, those who believe more than one Yavanna member is conspiring to keep the chocolate a secret; and Oligo-chocolatists, those who believe the power of keeping the chocolate is vested in a select few, usually supposed to be the realm staff. There is no obvious answer to the question of the chocolate’s whereabouts, but one thing is clear: the Yavanna chocolate stash, whether it exists or not, is and will always be shrouded in mystery.
by LadyEowyn_of_Rohan, assisted by Timpenin
