1.So, you have been chosen by the wizards to answer their own particular brand of questions this month. Does this make you proud? Why do you think the wizards have chosen you?
Pink Wizard: Errmm, because they had no choice?
Blue Wizard: We are the wizards! Who makes these silly questions?
Pink Wizard: Exactly!
Blue Wizard: Who makes these silly questions anyway? Was that you?
Pink Wizard: Yes. Sorry.
2. Let’s start with something easy. A simple choice. Which do you prefer and why?
– Middle-earth or our world?
PW: Middle-earth. No question. ME has hunky Rohirrim, magic woods, and Rivendell. We don’t.
BW: I don’t know. The real world does have Trent.
PW: Except hunky Rohirrim, magic woods, and Rivendell… Perhaps ME with Trent would be the best compromise.
BW: Also, Middle-earth doesn’t have indoor plumbing.
PW: ME doesn’t have nuclear weapons and traffic lights.
– A steward’s son or a son as steward?
BW: Who came up with that question?
PW: Guess, lol.
BW: I sense a distinct dislike of you developing in myself.
PW: Faramir, please. And the other steward’s son sent to live in the Dead Marshes.
BW: I’ll take a steward for a son.
PW: It was ever only an excuse for people to be evil to Boro.
BW: You suck. Can that be published on a PG-13 site?
PW: I would have thought so.
– Arwen as hope or Arwen as reward?
BW: Aragorn is hope. Arwen is… pretty?
PW: Arwen is hope. And encouragement. The promise of what can come if all the men get their swords out and hack to pieces enough orcs.
BW: Dead orcs?
PW: …and a great Kingdom of Good and Peace and sexy Rangers-as-Kings.
BW: No need to pretend we’re manly wizards anymore now, is there? Sheesh.
PW: Unless they are slashy wizards…
BW: You *are* a Pink Wizard, of course…
PW: Aaaaand…?
BW: Errrm….. Let’s move on…
– The addition of chocolate into Middle-earth or the addition of lembas into our world?
BW: CHOCOLATE! *drools*
PW: (If any of the Istari were slashy wizards, it would be Saruman of many colours… i.e. rainbow pride gay wizard!) Um yeah – just an offside not to be printed.
BW: Too late… it’s being written down by the Evil Brownish Wizard of Courier Concerns.
PW: *looks sceptic*
BW: Urgh… I can’t script that out.
PW: Depends whether I’m in ME or not. I want to be wherever the chocolate is!
– Which pairing do you prefer: Arwen/Aragorn; Éowyn/Aragorn; Éowyn/Arwen, Aragorn/Boromir or Boromir/Figwit?
BW: That is a really clever question. The person who made this amazingly clever question is obviously very, very clever.
PW: Hmmmm, well, Boro/Figgy would get Boro out of the way quite nicely …
BW: *hits the Pink Wizard with a huge soft Swedish light switch – a fake one, obviously, because the real one is too expensive and not in my posession*
PW: Swedish light switches???!!!
BW: You neglected to comment on the cleverness of the question!
PW: It’s remarkably clever! Of course!
BW: (Also, Boromir is the most hunky, amazing, proud, beautiful, wonderful, caring, brave… character in all of the books.)
PW: Aragorn/Arwen. I just lurve canon. LOL. Though Aragorn and Éowyn would be hotter. (Can we say that on PG13???)
BW: I would choose Aragorn/Boromir. In keeping with the tendency of the last question. (Yes, we can, and might I add that I totally agree?)
PW: Though Arwen/Éowyn could end up in a big cat fight, which could be amusing.
BW: And equally hot. And less messy.
PW: Arwen works with Aragorn’s elf side, and Éowyn with his man side. But things without men are much less messy.
BW: Yeay, we agree on something!
3. You wake up with a gentle wind on your face and birds singing in the trees. The sun is rising over a nearby wood. Where are you?
BW: Don’t know. Do you?
PW: Cerin Amroth, I think. *looks round in confusion*
BW: I don’t know… Are there llamas on Cerin Amroth?
PW: Is there a secret line in the question I’m missing? Birds… check… trees… check… llamas???
BW: You don’t see the llama? Honey, it’s eating your hair! *points at chewing llama*
PW: And I thought that was my kitten…
4. You wake up with something seemingly like a tornado whirling around you. No birds are singing, in trees or otherwise. The sun is in the sky, but often hidden by flying debris, trees, cows etc. Where are you?
BW: Erm…. In a hole under the ground. I don’t know where you are, but…
PW: At home! We’ve had tree branches whirling past the windows with ridiculously high winds recently! No cows though… but Hobbit’s ears streamed back, making her look like she was flying.
BW: Poor Hobbit! Oh, oh, I know: in Kansas! How corny is that?
PW: I’ve made Hobbit a little pink scarf to stop her ears flying… How corny is *that*!
5. What 5 things would you take to Middle-earth with you and why?
BW: Trent.
PW: Hobbit. Just because I couldn’t possibly leave her behind. Sketchpads and my favourite pencils.
BW: Errrr…. Chocolate, in case they didn’t read our questions there.
PW: My ipod and never-failing batteries. I’ll put NIN on it for you as well…
BW: Myself? (I’m tragically un-creative today. I hope I don’t go to Middle-earth on an un-creative day…)
PW: “What 5 things would you take to Middle-earth with you and why?” – you can’t take yourself with yourself!
BW: A pillow. Do they have pillows in ME?
PW: Good point! Yes! A pillow! An umbrella/waterproof coat. Watching Aragorn and the hobbits slog through the rain was sooooo depressing. And some Mary-Sue potion, so if I ever got close to Théoden, I could drink it and become perfect and get married and live happily ever after in Rohan.
BW: You got five things. I got…. two? And something I can’t take. So I need… two and a half more…. Errmm….
PW: You probably need some MS potion too!
BW: What? For Théoden?
PW: And a toothbrush! Nooo… Boro! Éomer! Other hunky marshals of the mark… you marry Éomer, I’ll marry Théo, and I’ll be your mother-in-law! *dies laughing*
BW: *shudders* Next!
6.Which is your favourite season, and where in Middle-earth would you like to spend it?
PW: Summer.
BW: Winter in the Helcaraxë. White Christmas guaranteed.
PW: Is the Helcaraxe Middle-earth? Or Aman? Does it change half-way across?
BW: …See, I knew I shouldn’t have skipped the Shaping of Beleriand, or however that bloody tedious chapter about trees and villages was called…
PW: perhaps it’s in *neither*! Oooo…
BW: Another subject for the FAQ’s section. Plug! Plug! Plug! Winter on Caradhras, then?
PW: That sounds snowy. Summer in the Grey Havens.
7. Give us 5 words that explain your love of Tolkien and his works.
BW: Boromir. Seriously. Not just for the swear and the blood and the sheer hunkiness dripping off the pages…
PW: Beauty, language, Fëanor, Melkor, comfort.
BW: Boromir, Boromir, Boromir, Boromir, Boromir.
8. And on to our favourite website … Which forums have you never posted in on CoE? Which forum do you post in most?
BW: Never: Collectibles. Who would want to post in collectibles? Except the lovely PB who gave me a very special collectible card. Erm… Most: Movies? Books? Book Club?
PW: Book Forum mostly! And Book Club and Nienna. Never – Casting Forum, and Rumours and Spoilers when that lived. And Newbies, I think.
BW: On a side-note, as Wizards, do we post on forums? Aren’t we supposed to trot around Middle-earth and do magic and all?
PW: We do. When we’re bored of saving the world.
BW: We saved the world? When did we do that?
PW: You were asleep. I saved the world.
BW: Gosh.
PW: Mmmm, yes. It was quite fun.
9. Which completely unnecessary section does CoE really need?
PW: Fëanor Fanzone. What do you reckon?
BW: Against.
PW: Pah. You would.
BW: A Book Club headed by someone smart and punctual with a great interest in the shaping of Beleriand and a vast knowledge of Elven courting rituals.
PW: We’ve got that – well, apart from the Elven courting rituals bit… and the shaping of Beleriand bit… and the punctual bit…
BW: I know! A section with pictures of LOTR characters carved out of chocolate!
PW: Fëanor! Chocolate Fëanor! Oh my…
BW: *LOTR*
PW: He’s mentioned!!
BW: A section for us to mess around in. With funny articles about all the characters, and nice illustrations…
PW: *nods* That would be nice. But not *necessary*. A Fëanor fanzone is more necessary.
BW: With Frequently Asked Questions all answered (Yes, the balrog has wings; No, Tom Bombadil is not just a bad dream; Yes, Legolas is really Glorfindel’s evil twin sister…)
PW: I’m getting there on that one!
BW: What, you mean to say we *have* such a section?
PW: We will!
BW: *now we’re getting to the veeerrrry obvious part* Really? That sounds soooo cool! Who came up with such a great and clever idea?
PW: Hmm… I can’t quite remember.
BW: Probably you, while I was sleeping.
PW: Probably. During saving the world.
