1. So, you have been chosen by the wizards to answer their own particular brand of questions this month. Does this make you proud? Why do you think the wizards have chosen you?
Obviously, I’m proud, who wouldn’t be? I mean, I’ve always held the wizards in very great esteem! And, of course, they chose me because they’ve heard of my glorious reputation as Melkor’s apprentice/Pretzel baker.
2. Let’s start with something easy. A simple choice. Which do you prefer and why?
– Middle-earth or our world?
Middle-earth!
– A steward’s son or a son as steward?
Yes please, let me have the steward’s son(s)!
– Arwen as hope or Arwen as reward?
As hope!
– The addition of chocolate into Middle-earth or the addition of lembas into our world?
Tricksily tricky! If I get to live in ME, then I’d obviously want the chocolate to follow me there. Especially if we can milk some cows as well, so I can have some cold milk to drink with it.
– Which pairing do you prefer: Arwen/Aragorn; Éowyn/Aragorn; Éowyn/Arwen, Aragorn/Boromir or Boromir/Figwit?
LOL, now how would the blue wizard know about Figgy’s Boromir obsession, eh? Boromir and Figgy, though what would be even more preferable would be me and Boromir.
3. You wake up with a gentle wind on your face and birds singing in the trees. The sun is rising over a nearby wood. Where are you?
In the Herbal Garden of the Void – recently planted, actually, but due to the lack of vegetation there it has attracted a lot of animals… I’m actually thinking of setting up a scarecrow.
4. You wake up with something seemingly like a tornado whirling around you. No birds are singing, in trees or otherwise. The sun is in the sky, but often hidden by flying debris, trees, cows etc. Where are you?
Something tells me I must be in Oz, but I might also just have ended inside Obo the Maia’s great vacuum cleaner while he was vacuuming Minas Tirith – you know that tends to get rather messy.
5. Which would you rather do and why? File Gríma’s toenails, brush Lurtz’s teeth or wash Gollum’s loincloth?
Ewwww!!!! It’s like having to decide between plague, cholera and insert third nasty illness here. I see you must have turned evil, Gandalf would never have asked about such nasty things, yuck! But ehhh, bleeeh… I think I’d go for the loincloth –there’s no deadline for it and it could lie and soak in the washing bowl for a week before I’d need to touch it… Or maybe I could just buy him a new one, he wouldn’t notice, would he?
6. How well do you think you would do if you were dropped suddenly into Minas Tirith? Or Edoras? Or Barad-dûr?
Minas Tirith forms and fanciness is not what I’m best at, especially if they ask me to wear large gowns – clumsiness is a synonym of my name. Edoras – that would mean I’d have to be outdoors and riding horses right. * giggles * Yes, I do not see that happen any day soon… One day and I’d be sore and filled with blue marks. However, if I could just have a position as Prime Mind-Poisoner I’d do fine. Barad-dûr – possibly one of two things would happen: a) I’d end up being roasted alive and thrown into Mount Doom, or b) I’d persuade Sauron I was his master come back in new form and I’d overtake his place as the Dark Lady. The latter, of course, being the most likely. Rather depressing, really, there ought to be some crash-course in how to survive/do well in Middle Earth…
7. Do Siamese cats truly come from Mordor?
Yes, have you ever doubted it?
8. What 5 things would you take to Middle-earth with you and why?
Well, as I’ve already made sure that chocolate will be there, there’s no need to bring that. So, errr… My bicycle, a snowsuit, some smelling-salt, a pair of scissors and a camera.
9. Which is your favourite season, and where in Middle-earth would you like to spend it?
I don’t have a favourite season, or rather they’re all my favourites!!! So I guess I can spend a whole year in Middle-earth. As for where, errr… somewhere between Khazad Dûm and Lothlórien. Preferably within walking distance of both places, or at least bicycle distance. Even though I’m claustrophobic, I think the dwelling place of the Dwarves would be a pleasant place to spend the winter – and only think of the preciousss jewels you’d get for Christmas! In the summer I could stroll around in Lothlórien. But I guess I’ve already broken the rules and picked two places – please don’t kill me for it!
10. Give us 5 words that explain your love of Tolkien and his works.
Metamorphosing, ever growing, wonder, fascination, uncomplicated… eeeek, how on earth can such a love be described…?
11. Which characters would you be in the following books: Winnie the Pooh, Lost, Chronicles of Narnia, Harry Potter?
In Winnie the Pooh: Christopher Robins with a dash of Eeyore and Rabbit. Haven’t read Lost In Narnia… hmmm, maybe Lucy Pevensie with some degree of Breehy-hinny-brinny-hoohy-hah & Edmund Pevensie. And in Harry Potter, errr… maybe a mix of Nymphadora Tonks & Remus Lupin, perhaps even with a dash of Filius Flitwick, but I honestly don’t have a clue. Rather depressing, really, what I’d want is some Jadis/Snape traits.
12. And on to our favourite website … Which forums have you never posted in on CoE? Which forum do you post in most?
Never have posted in Collectibles & the Testy one. As for the forum I post in the most, I’ve installed myself in Vairë, and frankly, that is about the only forum where I post in these days. Unfortunately, there are some other forums I’m sad to have ‘let go of’.
13. Which completely unnecessary section does CoE really need?
I don’t really know… But now that I’ve realised how awful I’ll do in ME, I think a Survivor’s Section with zillions of hints etc. would be a glorious section. But then, that is a necessity…
14. And that’s that! Thank you for your time and your thoughts! One further question – do you have anything to ask the Wizards?
You’re welcome, my blue fellows! I would like to know how you really spent your time since your disappearance. And also, if the rumours of your corruption are true, why did you not contact Melkor? Thirdly, do you have any plans of publishing a book about your adventures? Also, do you regret having to stay in ME now that most of the fun people have gone?
