Dear Readers,
This column is featured in the Realm of Vairë’s Newspaper called “The Tapestry”. You, the reader, will have to guess who is writing the letter to Lady Galadriel’s Column. These characters may be from the LotR books, or movies.
Please PM Maire with your answers and she will in turn send you the list of the correct answers.
Thanks for your participation!
Have Fun!
~Lady Galadriel
Disclaimer: Please do not try any of these remedies for yourself. Although you may want to try them, I would not recommend that you do so, because you are not from Middle-earth as are my faithful writers.
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Dear Galadriel,
I would not write to you unless I thought it necessary. I have searched through all of Middle-earth for a cure for what ails me. I had travelled to visit the hobbits, and they bade me to have some pipeweed. I could not resist so I joined the hobbits in smoking. Now I have this terrible hobbit, uh … er .. I mean habit. Are there any remedies to counteract this addiction that I have?
Sincerely,
Smoking with Hobbits
Dear Hobbit Smoker,
Although this will sound quite strange, you must make Orc Jelly and spread it upon Lembas bread. Eat it with every meal for one week. If you are allergic to Orcs, you may also use crushed up Uruk-Hai teeth.
A note to my faithful readers: Please make sure that when you visit the shire you are not pressured into smoking the dreaded pipeweed. Its side effects are lethal to those that are not of the hobbit race. Remember Pipeweed is very Hobbit-Forming.
Yours,
Lady Galadriel
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My Dear Lady Galadriel,
My letter to you is about relationship advice. The woman I love is unreachable, I know that now. My heart yearns for her, but alas, there is none that can take her place. How can I fill this void in my heart? I have tried a numerous amount of hobbies, and I’ve even entered the Middle-earth Olympics in the Dwarf Tossing Category. Which I enjoy very much, but my heart is still empty. Please tell me what I can do to fill this void.
Yours Truly,
Confused and in Love
Dear Confused Love,
Throughout the ages we have looked for a cure, but yet there is none for a broken heart. I would recommend to travel the world, see all you can see. Travelling, you will be able to meet new Middle-earthlings, and find yourself a suitable partner that loves you for who you are. I am sorry that I cannot give much more advice than this.
Yours,
Lady Galadriel
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Dear Lady Galadriel,
I have been suffering for many years from an ailment that puzzles all of my doctors. I am suffering from a chronic throat illness. I cannot speak, I have begun to learn sign language and have had to resort to writing on a tablet to communicate. I have been to every available doctor, but I have now run out of money, and cannot afford to see any more doctors. You are my last hope Lady Galadriel, please help me.
Sincerely,
Frog in my throat
Dear Frog Eater,
I am sorry to hear .. uh .. er … read that your ailment does not have a cure. I know that your doctors have not foreseen any hope for a cure. Something that may help would be honey from one of Beorn’s hives, and tea mixed with water from a fresh spring that’s water is blue. And remember, do not try to put a Frog in your throat again. It does not pay to croak all day.
Yours truly,
~Lady Galadriel
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Dear Galadriel,
My life is so unfair!! I am always put last in the lunch line, and the last to stab anyone! I have to shine the armour, and clean the stables!! I get no respect from anyone, you’ve never met me and I’m sure that you would never want to. I’m so boring and dark that you would never want to see my face. I’m sure that you are bothered by my letter so please just discard this.
Dark and Forgotten
Dear Dark and Forgotten,
Please do not think that I would discard your letter. I read everyone one of them sent to me, and I reply to them personally. To get respect you must show respect, do unto others as you would have others do to you. This is an age old truth, it has been proven with time. The next time someone is mean to you, smile! A smile a day keeps grumpiness away!! I hope that this helps you!
~Lady Galadriel
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